Say No to distractions. Say Yes to God’s big blessings.
– edWIN Ka Edong Soriano (paraphrased from Bo Sanchez)
You know that feeling when you feel compelled to say “Yes” because it’s nakaka-hiya to say “No”. Maybe because you think saying “No” makes you a bad person. Or maybe because saying “No” means you’re being closed minded or un-supportive.
In the past, I’ve had trouble saying “No”. Now I am becoming more and more comfortable with choosing to say “No” to distractions so that I can say “Yes” to my dreams, “Yes” to my prayers, “Yes” to my purpose.
Now I can say “No” with a smile ;-) .
Clarity lights my path
When you are clear with what you want,
you can decisively decline what you don’t want.
– edWIN Ka Edong Soriano
When I made decisions about my personal, professional and world-contribution goals, it became clear that I needed to spend my time and energy on activities that contributed to my goals. This clarity has empowered me to be purposefully selective about how I use my time and energy.
For instance, my Starshooters buddy-coach Cams mentioned that she wanted to put together a garage sale. I shared to her my ideas about how to do the garage sale. I told her of my idea to have a garage sale the following weekend after each PSI Basic seminar. After exchanging ideas, she asked me if I wanted to help organize. I replied: “No”. Well, it wasn’t as flat-out as that. I followed-through by telling her that my contribution to the project was the ideas and the connections that I can open up for her so that she can reach her goal. I explained that I’ve become more selective so that I can focus on my goals.
I’ve also become more comfortable saying “No” through a talk by brother Randy at The Feast (Makati). It explained the Gift of Limits. There are some people (I was one of them) who find it hard to say “No”. I personally found it hard to say “No” because I felt that I became a bad person when I refused to help others. That was difficult for me considering that I am a supporter at my core, someone who values giving support to people around him.
It became clear what my motivations were for not wanting to say “No”. I kept saying “Yes” because I thought that would earn me more brownie points, because I thought that would make other people love me more.
I kept saying “Yes” because I had a need to be loved. Because I did not love myself enough. Because I hadn’t acknowledged how much love my good Lord had for me. I was trying to “earn” love by saying yes — saying yes to my detriment.
Now I say “No” to the small stuff that comes my way, so that I can say “Yes” to the bigger opportunities that directly contribute to achieving my goals.
Sometimes I feel that God sends us some “distractions” just to see how determined we are to reach our goals. Distractions are opportunities to say “No, I will not go that way, because I am clear with where I want to go.” And each time we do this, we increase our will power to go for our goals.
Saying “No” to TV and other clutter
Around 2005, I stopped watching aimless TV. I stopped spending my time searching for something to watch on TV. There were times when I had a TV and I chose to read a book or write on my blog. Now I don’t own a TV. When I go home to my parents house, I am more selective about what I watch. Sure, sometimes I do watch some show (one time I slept past midnight watching LOTR Twin Towers). I chose to because it was bonding time for me and my honey. ;-)
I also say “No” to receiving plastic bags or paper bags from retail stores. It’s my way of reducing the use of resources. It’s also my way of reducing “clutter” from entering my life (because I’ll need to dispose of it eventually).
I say “No” with love
I thank the Lord for helping me be creative in helping people (sharing ideas, making connections, blessing them) without needing to consume my time/energy in stuff that do not contribute to my goals. I still get to help them through some quick ideas. And I am of service to them by being clear with my level of contribution to their invitation.
Because going for my goals is honoring my self.
Because going for my goals is honoring my God.
How about you, my friend?
What’s the “No” that will help you say “Yes” to God’s Big Blessings?
p.s. See also Brother Bo Sanchez’s article about “How to move mountains“.
And here’s a quote I created related to this story: