HOW TO COPE WITH BEING ALONE ON CHRISTMAS

How to Cope with Being Alone on Christmas

Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. The fact is that you can be happy even if you’re alone.

Watch this video to learn how to cope with being alone this Christmas.

Video 1: Live interview by Ariel Ureta and Winnie Cordero on Todo Todo Walang Preno, DZMM Teleradyo:

Here’s the full list of seven tips on Coping with Being Alone on Christmas:

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How to Cope with Being Alone on Christmas



Mend Your Broken Heart In Time for Christmas

Mend Your Broken Heart In Time for Christmas

Yes, we’ve all been there. Somebody broke our hearts or we broke other people’s hearts. Either way, moving on is never easy.

Watch this video to help mend your heart just in time for Christmas.

Download the slides here: Mend Your Broken Heart In Time for Christmas.

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Mend Your Broken Heart In Time for Christmas



It's Not You, It's Me

It’s Not You, It’s Me: 5 Things You Must Do to BE “The One”

We’ve heard of the discussion about “how to *find* the one”, how to find your lifetime partner.

But say you’ve searched high and low and still haven’t found him/her. You know what, here’s another way to do it. Instead of spending your time and energy searching for “the one”, how about developing yourself so that you BE “The One” for your future partner.

Imagine that you’re searching for a lifelong travel buddy. Someone you will spend the rest of your life journey with. If you want to have a good travel partner, you better be one yourself as well!

Here are five concrete actions you must do to BE “The One”.

1.) Stop Complaining

Nobody wants to be around complainers. They complain about the food, the weather, the traffic, the colleague etc. Would you want to spend your life with a spouse who keeps complaining? Neither does he/she. So stop complaining.

Two alternatives to complaining:

a.) Do something about it. You don’t like the food? Eat elsewhere. Your colleague is too noisy? Listen to music on your earphones. You don’t like the traffic? Leave earlier.

b.) Let it go. If you choose to *not* do something about it, then let it go. Focus your energy on something else. Such as being grateful…

2.) Be Grateful

Want to increase your happiness index instantly? Be Grateful! I once gave an instruction to a client who was totally consumed by recalling 15-year old events where she felt offended. I gave her this instruction: “Everyday, write down ten things to be grateful for.”

She took things literally. She wrote ten *things*, like “I’m grateful for the tap water, free ballpen at the conference, the shuttle to the mall, my bag, the internet shop.” Yes, you can be thankful for things. That’s a start.

Here are more ways to be thankful:

  • Be thankful for things
  • Be thankful for events / activities
  • Be thankful for people
  • Be thankful for self
  • Be thankful for God’s blessings

Start your gratitude journal and start writing ten items that you’re grateful for. Do it daily. And you’ll discover that you’re a happier person. And a happier person to be with.

3.) Know Thy Self

If you were to invite someone to join you for a (lifetime) journey, it would be great if that person knew who she/he was, right?

The Johari window is an awesome way to discover more about yourself.

Johari Window

Johari Window

In the Johari window, the first quadrant is what you know about yourself that other people know as well.

Some people have a very small first quadrant. A friend of mine is so self-conscious, so uptight. He’s too concerned about what other people think, so much so that he’d rather keep his thoughts and insecurities to himself. Neither is he aware of how other people perceive him. He’s too afraid to find out what other people think of him.

It’s difficult to have a relationship with him because it would be hard to know what he really is thinking or feeling.

Many of our great teachers and successful people have a wide open arena. Imagine Ninoy Aquino, Martin Luther King, Wayne Dyer, Thomas Edison, Barack Obama — their life is an open book. They seem to have nothing to hide. The wider your first quadrant is, the easier it is to have a relationship.

4.) Ask for feedback

Second Quadrant is is called the Blindspot — things that people know, but you don’t know about yourself. For example, while I’m at this cafe writing this article, a young man at the next table was talking so loud, probably three times louder than necessary for his colleague to hear him 2 feet away. It was rather distracting for other patrons who heard their conversation from 8 feet away.

It’s difficult to have a relationship with someone who has many blindspots. Want to reduce your blindspot?

Here’s how: Ask for feedback.

Here’s something you can do. Choose a person who you relate to on a regular basis. It can be your boss, your colleague, your subordinate, your mother, or your friend. It’s a set of two questions:

Question #1: “In the past week (or month), how would you rate me as a _________ from a scale of 1-10 where 10 is highest.” (fill-in as appropriate: e.g. employee, officemate, boss, your child, your friend)
After your selected person gives you their response, the next step is to ask …

Question #2: “What will it take to make it a 10 (or 11)?”

And then you receive feedback that you hadn’t know about yourself before. Yes, of course this is an opinion of another person. It’s information that you could use to develop yourself.

5.) Disclose to safe friends

The third quadrant is called the “hidden area”. This is what you know about yourself that you’d rather keep secret.

Here’s the thing: When you keep too many things secret, it can become the cause of stress in your relationships.

A client of mine confided that when she checked marriage records at NSO, it turned out that her husband has a marriage certificate with another woman. She was not the first wife. This kind of relationship was bound to fail because there was a major secret kept.

I’ve been married in the past. And I filed for an annulment. After my first marriage, the two relationships I had after that were very transparent. They knew from the very start that I had a previous marriage. Can you imagine how hellish it would have been if I kept my previous marriage from my current relationship?

I’m not telling you to spill the beans on your first date. What I recommend is to learn how to disclose your secrets to a “safe friend”. A safe friend is someone who you can entrust your secret to with the agreement that this person will keep it confidential. I do have some secrets in my life. And I’ve disclosed this to a few safe friends. It gives me a certain freedom, allows me to breathe easier and sleep more soundly at night.

Bonus! Explore your unknown

The fourth quadrant is called the Unknown, or sometimes called the Unconscious. This is what you don’t know and other people don’t know either.

For many people, there are unknown things that are affecting their lives today. We had a client who just couldn’t be satisfied with the many achievements she has made for herself. She is a highly successful executive in a multinational company. She is the breadwinner for her family, and despite that, she had an extremely strained relationship with her mother.

When we helped our client explore her situation, she discovered what was keeping her dissatisfied.

Her father passed away when she was a 12 years old. Her entire life, she was trying to get the affirmation of the people around her. Little did she know that it was the affirmation from her father that she was trying to get, the only thing that could have given her the satisfaction she sought. Through coaching, we helped her give herself the affirmation she had sought for decades. And there was healing.

If you have inexplicable extreme emotions (sadness, depression, anger, impatience, insecurity etc.), we can help you discover how to unlock it through coaching. Contact us at www.winningcoaching.net , edwin@winningcoaching.net , 0918-8002323 .

I hope this article has been useful for you. Is there something else you’d like to add to this list? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Comment below or email me at edwin@winningcoaching.net .

Life Journey

Forty One That Have Changed My Life

I couldn’t figure out the category. It’s a mix. All of them have formed part of my life journey.

Forty One that have changed my life

  1. My wife, my one true love, Rezza
  2. My parents Tony and Flor
  3. My siblings Elmer, Eric, Anna; Brillantes KRC, Andrei, Cali
  4. My mentor, Capt. Bobby Lim
  5. UPSCA
  6. SPED center
  7. UP Los Banos and my barkada there, including folks from LFS and SCM
  8. Pisay
  9. Sindi Katok, LBM
  10. Kidlat, Tanya, Elmer, Marga
  11. Ms. Aguila, my chem teacher who believed in me; Ms. Alcid, Mrs. Salac.
  12. PSI – Basic, Shooters, Heroic, Kids, Youth Camp. Kokoy, Greg, Alice, Sonnie, Vickie and all my buddies, fellow staff.
  13. LOJ / The Feast
  14. Light Thursdays
  15. CCF, Victory
  16. Maya and Loreen
  17. Anna, Jill, Tristan
  18. RunnersRunner – Raffy, Ivy, Jon, Tristan, Loyce
  19. Smart VAS
  20. Jorey, Noee
  21. Next Step, TSI
  22. NLP, ICF
  23. Batanes
  24. Airfagev
  25. UP EE
  26. AIM, MDM
  27. Pahinungod
  28. Cuyo, Palawan; GAMNHS
  29. Days with the Lord B74, circa Jan 1991
  30. Discovery Weekend … all four of them
  31. Intel! Intel! Intel! TMG-T
  32. Real Estate and my difficult tenants – you have taught me much
  33. kaedong.blogspot.com and edwinsoriano.com
  34. T Harv Eker’s Millionaire Mind Intensive, Singapore
  35. Breaking Through Barriers, NLP Practitioner training
  36. Relatives, Sorianos, Usshers, Bunags, Sabolboros
  37. Times St. , Catalan, Ilag’s, 73 Maginhawa, the other Maginhawa, Malakas, Matiaga, Tanglaw, Dayton, Crystal Aire, Starcentrum, VdL
  38. Happy Homes!
  39. Manong Johnny
  40. Running, marathons
  41. My Lord

If you are part of this list, in one way or another, I thank you. ;-) .
Your presence in my life is by divine appointment. I thank the Lord for making you part of my life.

Love,

Edwin

2016 Best Year Ever

Want to make 2016 your best year ever?

 

2016 Best Year Ever

2016 Best Year Ever

 

Hello friend, Happy New Year!

I wish that you are..
Happy for what you made of 2015,
Hungry for what you can make of 2016!

If you’re like many people I know, you probably have big plans, big dreams for 2016!

When my wife Rezza and I were in Baguio last week, I took some time to plan for a big 2016. I reflected about what I did well in 2015, and what I want to improve in 2016. I wrote down all my big dreams for 2016, I tested them, I polished them, checked my motivations, made sure my goals made my heart beat fast!

And you know what? YOU are part of my big dreams in 2016.
In prayer, I was reminded that helping YOU is at the core of my life purpose.
I want to help you leap forward towards your goals!

Whether or not you know what you want in your life…
Whether you’ve acknowledged that you need help, or just want to let go of some baggage in your life…
Whether you’re thinking of how to move forward, or you want better things in 2016….
I want to help you take that big leap!

How can I help YOU?

Thinking about your goals for 2016, what is that one big question which, when answered, will help you jump forward toward your goals?

Just comment below or send me your question via email at edwin@winningcoaching.net . You can ask a short and sweet question. Or you can summarize your thoughts and ask your most important question. I’ll personally respond to your question the best way I can. I’m here to help.

I look forward to your question, okay?

Here’s to your best year ever!

Coach Edwin

p.s. Whether your question is short and sweet, or you need clarify your question further, take that first step and JUST ASK! You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
Go NOW, ask a question!

What to be grateful for?

I’m writing to the person who is down and out, the person who thinks life is a bitch, the person who is thinking that there might be no hope in life.

Be Grateful!

Gratitude does not change the circumstances. Gratitude changes the person.

Two people can be in the exact same situation, right beside each other.
One can be complaining about the traffic, the heat, the time lost, the hunger etc.
And the other can be grateful for his transportation, for good weather, for time to read a good book, for having family who can share dinner with.

They are going through the same situation. But having a different experience of it. And it starts with gratitude.

What can we be grateful for?

Grateful for things

Right now, grab a thing around you. What does this thing enable you to do? Express your appreciation for the thing (it’s okay, you’re the only one who can hear/see yourself talking to the thing). Example: Thank you ballpen for being available to take down notes for me so that I will remember what I need. Thank you ballpen that I’m able to express myself to my wife through love notes.

Grateful for happenings 

Today, as your focus on one activity you are doing today, how does this activity benefit you?
Yes, maybe you don’t like your job, you don’t like the work you do. Just think about it for some moments. What does it *benefit* you to do what you do?

Or maybe you’re on the other side of things, you’re idle and without work. What does it *benefit* you being idle.

Some might think: “Nothing! It doesn’t benefit me one bit.”
Really, “Nothing?” What you’re doing doesn’t benefit you at all? If so, then why do you continue doing it? Oh, because you will get hurt if you don’t do it? Then that is the benefit! You are *choosing* to do it so that you won’t get hurt. Acknowledge that if that is the situation. There’s always something to be grateful for.

Grateful for thoughts and feelings

Right now, as you’re reading this and you’re thinking “Hey, that’s a new idea I could use.” Be thankful for all the transformations that are happening within you. Every second, every moment, you are having a new thought, a new feeling. It is a continuous stream of thoughts and feelings. Be grateful for the newly discovered

Grateful for people

You know how it goes. As you reflect about the people around you, your loved ones, what are you grateful for about them? Go ahead and choose one person. I don’t know what you’re going through. Let’s say for example (I’m thinking of an extreme scenario here) you hate a person so much — well, two ways to do it. Give yourself a chance to think of something you are grateful for for this person you “hate”. Maybe your ex- made you a stronger person. Maybe your current boss helped you appreciate your previous boss.

Or maybe you have a loved one who’s easy to be grateful for. Your parents. Your partner or spouse. Your officemate. Your best friend. Be grateful for them. You want to level-up? Express your gratitude to them. Write them a hand-written note, tell them what you are grateful for. Remember that gratitude changes you, not your circumstances.

Grateful for self

Be grateful for your self. There’s only one person in the world that you will be with for the rest of your life! YOU! Yes YOU! You might as well be grateful for something about yourself. What do you like about yourself? “Eh kung yung status message nga ng kaklase mo, nila-like mo. Dapat pati ikaw, ni-la-like mo rin.”

Right now, write three things that you’re grateful for today. (Level-up: Post it on facebook/twitter/IG). Repeat for next 30 days.

Use hashtags #30daysofgratitude #BeHappyHungry

Q&A with Mahal and Ka Edong

I had the chance to exchange thoughts with a fellow-coach, Mahal Hudson, who is based in Canada. She asked me some challenging questions, and I loved having the chance to reflect upon her questions.

Q&A with Ka Edong

Q&A with Mahal and Ka Edong

These were questions from Mahal:

1. What do you think is your purpose in life?
2. What do you think is your life’s mission?
3. If can sum up who you are and you do in just six lines what would that be?
4. What made you turn into blogging in the first place?
5. What inspires you to become who you are right now?

Move over to Mahal’s blog to find out how I answered these questions ;-) .

I interviewed Mahal as well. Here’s what Mahal shared.

Ka Edong

p.s. You want to experience coaching and create better results in your life? Why not try life coaching? You will be amazed with the immediate results you will have! Surely you’re interested, so click here to learn more about coaching

Four Things to do When Jealous

In their celebration the women sang, “Saul has killed thousands, but David tens of thousands.”
Saul did not like this, and he became very angry.
He said, “For David they claim tens of thousands, but only thousands for me. They will be making him king next!”
And so he was jealous and suspicious of David from that day on.

1 Samuel 18:7-9

Jealousy. Such a complicated emotion. In the verse above, King Saul was jealous of David, a young and very successful leader of soldiers in battle. King Saul’s jealousy was triggered by the comparison of Saul to David, and the fear that Saul’s power would be taken over by David.

Some say that jealousy stems from insecurity. When people are insecure of themselves, or insecure of the love of their loved ones, it can cause be a source of jealousy.

Some say that jealousy is just normal. That it is a healthy indicator that people care for one another.

Some say that jealousy is primal. That it stems from a deep fundamental “radar”, an intuitive feeling that people have, an early warning that allows people to “defend” their relationship. Perhaps.

My Golly, Jealousy!

At the recent surprise birthday party Continue reading Four Things to do When Jealous

Asked to do it. Don’t want to do it. What to do?

David strapped Saul’s sword over the armor and tried to walk, but couldn’t, because he wasn’t used to wearing them.
“I can’t fight with all this,” he said to Saul. “I’m not used to it.”
1 Samuel 17:39

In the story of David and Goliath, there are so many details that can be sources for some magnificent lessons. In this verse, King Saul offered his very own coat of armor, helmet and sword for David to use.

But David knew himself, was honest to himself and chose to fight Goliath without an armor or sword, just 5 smooth stones and a sling.

Have you had experiences in the past where you were being asked to do something you didn’t want to do?  Or be someone you were not?

I’ve had many experiences like that and it was very uncomfortable. Like David, I almost couldn’t walk, because Continue reading Asked to do it. Don’t want to do it. What to do?

Alternative to Judging People: Just wait a bit more until…

The Lord said, “…I do not judge as people judge.
They look at the outward appearance, but I look at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7

I had a bad feeling about him from the very start. His name was Wynn (nice name pa naman, a winner just like me!). I was told he would be my OIC from among the catering staff who will attend to any concerns I may have. I asked to meet him many times as we were setting up the surprise birthday party for my wife, Rezza. After meeting everybody else who was serving us, I still hadn’t seen this guy called Wynn.

And then he walks in and walks *past* me. As if I was invisible! (GRRRAAAWWRRR!) He goes along Continue reading Alternative to Judging People: Just wait a bit more until…