The funny thing about pain is that life has its own ways of showing us snippets of memories that will lead us remembering it. It may be through hidden notes in our wallet, a tagged photo, or even through a song. We can never escape pain because it is a part of who we are.
A few weeks ago, I had wonderful opportunity to facilitate a coaching session for the mothers of Grace to be Born. Grace to be Born is a shelter for pregnant women and children. To aide in their healing, I asked my participants to recall an unwanted scenario in their life.
While leading it, it also made me recall a mistake I committed when I was thirteen years old. I was very ashamed of myself that I suppressed it for a very long time. I never told anyone about it until a few years ago when I finally decided to accept it completely and reconcile with it through confession.
It was a long journey for me. I had several pushes and pulls of misguided attempts trying to overcome and then slowly falling back to it. With all hopelessness, I tried to convince myself that I can go on with my life leaving that memory untouched. But I was wrong— little did I know that it was still affecting my life, my relationships even in my adulthood. It limited my potential to grow.
It was important for me to get in touch with my own pain, so that I could heal and help other people heal as well.
I’m thankful that I was able to muster the courage of facing my dark past. In my journey, I discovered Four Keys To Turn Hopeless Into Healing:
1. Find a safe friend. There is no shame in sharing your pain. Find your trusted ally whom you can confide to. Speak about your frustrations and worries. Be vulnerable. God gave us wonderful people who can help us get through life’s challenges. You just have to look around and find them.
2. Feel your pain. Acknowledge it. One of the most difficult parts of this journey is to accept that we are struggling and we need help. As you slowly grow into acceptance of your pain, you are also breaking down your walls of confinement. This allows you to see beyond your weakness and view life in a more positive light. Free yourself from the burden of hiding.
3. Take your time. Remember this is not an overnight process. There are moments when you will find yourself falling back into that pain and starting back at square one. That’s okay. Start over again with a more persevering spirit. Set your own pace and focus on your healing.
4. Pray. There are moments when we cannot just rely on our own strength. Break down your pride and concede your weakness on Him. We need His grace to fill our brokenness. It is only through God’s loving presence that we may be completely healed.
The process did not only heal my pain but it also helped me live a more authentic life. Now I’m happy to face life—the good and the bad—with trust and confidence.
I hope that you continue to go forward no matter how hopeless your situation may seem to be. You are more than your pain. You are more than your struggles. You are God’s beloved.